Kimi Raikkonen, Juan Pablo Montoya, Fernando Alonso, Enrique Bernoldi, Melbourne, 2001

Caption Competition 26: Rookies of 2001

Caption Competition

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Kimi Raikkonen, Juan Pablo Montoya, Fernando Alonso, Enrique Bernoldi, Melbourne, 2001

Continuing our retro-themed Caption Competitions, today’s features the rookie class of 2001.

Future world champions Kimi Raikkonen (Sauber) and Fernando Alonso (Minardi) made their F1 debuts at Melbourne in 2001 along with Juan Pablo Montoya (Williams) and Enrique Bernoldi (Arrows).

It’s up to you to suggest the best comedy caption for this picture. Post your funniest suggestion in the comments and look out for my pick of the best in tomorrow’s round-up.

See the best of last year’s Caption Competition winners here:

Caption Competition

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 136 comments on “Caption Competition 26: Rookies of 2001”

    1. Alonso: “I can’t wait to get to Ferrari, Minardi can’t even afford to buy me a cap.”

      1. JimmyTheIllustratedBlindSolidSilverBeachStackapopolis III
        12th January 2013, 21:44

        It’s quite simple. Champion retired champion fired.

    2. “How do you feel making your F1 debut Kimi?”
      “It’s okay.”

    3. Kimi: “So be it. Motor racing.”

      1. Brilliant!

    4. Photographer: “give us a smile please Kimi”

      Kimi: “yes, yes, yes you don’t have keep telling me”

    5. “Boys, twelve years from now, you’ll have three World Championships and an Indianapolis 500 win between you. You’ll have fifty-six race wins, fifty-one pole positions and will have scored over twelve hundred World Championship points. But only one of you will have dated Anna Kournikova.”

        1. She’s a Russian tennis player who was famous around the time this photo was taken.

          1. No, i mean who dated Kournikova? I’ve heard of her :)

            1. None of them dated her. The joke works because Enrique Bernoldi achieved nothing in Formula 1, but dating Anna Kournikova is presented as being a greater achievement than anything and everything else Raikkonen, Montoya and Alonso have done.

              It’s not funny when you have to explain the joke, though.

            2. If none of them actually dated her, what’s the joke?

      1. I think this caption is the best even without the last line.

        What a year 2001 was from a rookie standpoint… A truly astonishing class.

      2. Umm, some other Enqiue, a singer with the surname Iglesias dated Kournikova. Not this Enrique.

        1. Go back up and read my other posts. Whether or not any of them actually dated Kournikova is not the point of the joke.

          1. I think the joke just isn’t funny buddy. Keep trying though, I laugh at the rubbish one’s as much or more as I enjoy the good one’s hahaha @prisoner-monkeys

      3. @prisoner-monkeys: more like
        “Boys, twelve years from now, you’ll have three World Championships and an Indianapolis 500 win between you. You’ll have fifty-six race wins, fifty-one pole positions and will have scored over twelve hundred World Championship points. And then there’s Enrique Bernoldi.”

    6. All rise for the German and Italian national anthems.

      1. Haha great!

    7. “And now,for their first ever appearance,we present to you The New Kids Of The Grid”

    8. Kimi: “… so maybe deciding to sew my name onto my overalls after last night’s drinks wasn’t such a good idea.”

      1. Love this one.

    9. “Juan, tell us about these giant earplugs you’re using.”
      Montoya: “What?”

    10. Chris (@tophercheese21)
      12th January 2013, 10:56

      “… and from left to right, we have the emotional scale of a racing driver, and yes, that is Kimi’s happy face… Coincidentally it’s also his laughing face, angry face, boredom face, smug face, and his guilty face.”

    11. After much consideration they decided that Westlife needed an overhaul of members…

    12. Bernoldi’s future was not quite as bright as his race suit suggested…

    13. Achievements from left to right:
      19 wins-1 WDC, 11 wins-1 Indy 500 win, 30 wins-2 WDC, eeeeeeerrrrrr

      1. Annoying the hell out of David Coulthard.

        1. overtaking michael schumacher at sepang. he was an alright driver. But ron dennis told him he would never drive in f1 again. and didnt

    14. The planned casting for Reservoir Dogs, The Sequel goes awry when the directors decide to cast a Fernando Alonso as, Mr Black.

    15. Montoya : I bet these two guys standing beside me won’t last long.Bernoldi should be fine though.

    16. “And Schumacher comes up to take the free kick…”

      1. Haha, like it.

      2. LOL, totally unrelated but so funny!

    17. Drop Valencia!
      12th January 2013, 11:21

      …three of them clearly have the focus to be future race winners…. but this Alonso chap didn’t even remember his cap…

    18. Fantastic achievements from these young drivers. We have Kimi who has multiple wins and a World Champion. Juan Pablo Montoya, multiple race wins, including an Indianpolis 500 victory. Fernando Alonso, multiple race wins and a double World Champion. And last but not least Enrique Bernoldi, a man with 200 free extra minutes on his Orange phone contract.

      1. OMG!! hahahhahahaha this has got to be it!!!

      2. Brilliant

      3. Perfect

    19. Red Bull: We have enough money to sponsor two new drivers this year. So we’ve gone with Kimi Raikkonen and Enrique Bernoldi. Juan Pablo Montoya and Fernando Alonso don’t look anything special to us.

    20. Drop Valencia!
      12th January 2013, 11:34

      Rookie driver thoughts 2001 –

      JPM:Don’t touch me or I’ll kill you!
      FA: No drive next year, no prospects in Minardi, hope they see how big I am…
      EB: Who am I again?

    21. Despite funding from his supporters back home, for one of these drivers the podium may as well have been Neverland.

      1. Less a caption than a comment, but it seems to me that the success of these drivers in F1 so far is almost inversely proportional to the number and size of the sponsors on their racing stripes.

    22. Alonso: “This is how I look under the helmet”

    23. “And here we are at the premiere of Sylvester Stallone’s epic motion picture Driven with Juan … Pablo Montoya? Who the hell is Juan Pablo Montoya? Who are these people!? Steve, this is a movie about racing drivers! I specifically told you to get me racing drivers, not these Backstreet Boys rejects! Take a look at this Raikkonen guy – do you think that, ten years from now, he will drive for Ferrari? No! And this kid Alonso; what, did you think he was going to be a World Champion or something? No, of course not! Still, I like this Bernoldi fellow. I can work with him. I wouldn’t be surprised if he becomes a three-time World Champion.”

    24. So, a Finn, a Colombian, a Spaniard and a Brazilian all walk into a bar …

    25. The Unfantastic Four

      1. Special powers:

        Kimi: emotionless
        Juan-Pablo: too much emotion
        Alonso: Politics
        Enrique: fameless

    26. Ok, now everybody smile, and remember Michael Schumacher won’t retire for another five years

    27. Alonso: “If any of us manage to win anything this year I’ll eat my cap.”

    28. “Bernie assembles three ‘stick thin’ rookies to expose Indy car driver’s sponsor irony.”

    29. Kimi: I think I’ll have vanilla next time
      JP: Amateurs
      Fernando: This is my racing face
      Enrique: I just wet my pants

    30. Fernando: Sure these guys are fast, but I’ll beat them…with the way of the samurai.

      1. OmarR-Pepper (@)
        12th January 2013, 16:02

        HAHAHAHA nice one

    31. “Fernando, your eyebrows have yet to arrive.”

    32. Montoya was confident he would have the most promising career of the group, as he had signed with a Championship winning team.

    33. Er.. Fernanado Where is your cap …??

      FA : It’s there .. It’s just that you can’t see it :)

    34. “Goes to show, a big smile will get you no where in F1”

    35. The cast for the international version of the Inbetweeners…before it got scrapped and stayed British.

    36. Alonso: Did you see Nelson Piquet’s son running around….he’s so irritating. Hope I don’t see him again.

      Montoya: My psychic told me by time those words become ironic, I won’t even be in F1.

      Bernoldi: If there’s one thing I want from F1, it’s to make Coulthard angry.

      Raikkonen: Just take the photo, I need my nap.

      1. i need to take a dump would be better

    37. Look at that bottom.

    38. EB: I have the most sponsors, so i’m the best.

    39. Alonso : How in the hell is Juan going to be able to fit in the car!?…

    40. Drivers feared Montoya would be quick off the blocks, so they asked Michael Schumacher, complete with a Yellow missile, to ‘sort it out’

    41. The driver’s superhero names, from left to right:
      The Iceman
      Deer Boy
      The Spanish Samurai
      Free minutes when you top-up man

    42. Bernoldi didn’t care about the wins, he was th only one going to see the new Harry Potter film, Black Sunday’s, Orange Wednesdays…

    43. Bernoldi:”The future’s bright, the future’s…just orange for me…”

    44. “I think that’s Bernoldi who is the most promising of these young men.” Helmut Marko (2001)

      1. That ironically was true statement of Helmut Marko!

    45. Bernoldi feeling a “little” intimidated by the others,
      compensates with a big smile.

    46. One would annoy his team over the radio
      One would annoy a deer
      One would annoy Coutlhart at Monaco
      And the other one would annoy Schumacher, McLaren, Piquet, Massa and lots of F1 fans around the world.

      1. he he : best one so far !!!

    47. Come 2012, Bernoldi will be the one having the least to smile about.

    48. LOL at Alonso.

    49. Simon Cowell reveals the four people that didn’t make it in to One Direction.

    50. Exactly 12 years later,
      1) another driver will make a move from Sauber to Mclaren like Kimi did.
      2) There will still be a hot-headed South American at Williams.
      3) There will be a driver who started after Alonso in Minardi and will win more championships than Alonso :P
      4) Neither Bernoldi nor Arrows will be in F1

      1. Real perfect combined thought !!!

    51. vuelve kowalsky
      12th January 2013, 15:27

      kimi, jee, i can’t wait to get to the motorhome, i can’t take this pr stuff.
      montoya, i am so hungry, whre is the closest mcdonalds?
      alonso, i am faster than all of them, i hope the know that, or we’ll have problems.
      bernoldi, with this car, i can only be a mobile chicane, i hope the big guns notice.

    52. Formula One Direction

      1. Alternatively; Formula One Direction sings ‘Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy’.

    53. Three future greats… and Enrique Bernoldi.

    54. That’s a smile of a winner. Oh wait…

    55. “Sorting Gigantic Earplug, choose the one who’ll waste his talent the most”

    56. “One of these drivers is not like the others,
      One of these drivers just doesn’t belong,
      Can you tell which driver is not like the others
      By the time I finish my song?”

    57. Bernoldi: “Guys can we do this photo in 5 minutes, I’m so excited I seem to have wet myself.”

    58. hey Kimi, who is this chubby standing between us?

    59. OmarR-Pepper (@)
      12th January 2013, 17:01

      I almost look like a ninja, except for the white part… let’s try the Samurai now

    60. Alonso: “This is embarrassing … I’m the only rookie without the support of a major sponsor”.

      1. ‘This is rrrridiculous’ would have been more appropriate to Alonso, methinks!

    61. Kimi: “I am being sponsored by Red Bull… this is just becoming stupid.”

      1. Actually his main sponsor prior to F1 was Battery, an energy drink from Finland, pretty good one too :)

    62. As the legions of fans, celebrity girlfriends and lucrative endorsements gradually dried up, One Direction became increasingly desperate ….

    63. ‘Guys, one of you will be responsible for knocking 2 of the others out of formula 1. You have the right to remain silent.’

    64. So Juan…. What do you think to the people surrounding you?

      “…oh dear!”

    65. Fernando forgot his cap.
      Juan-Pablo forgot his cheeseburger.
      Kimi forgot his emotions.
      Enrique forgot how to drive. Don’t worry though: he did get 100 extra minutes a month on his Orange Nokia.

    66. Interviewer: “As each of you starts your F1 career, what are your hopes for the future?”

      Kimi: “One day I hope to race alongside David Coulthard at Mclaren”
      JPM: “Ha! One day I will take David Coulthard’s seat at Mclaren!”
      Alonso: “Haha! One day I will take Montoya’s place at Mclaren”
      Bernoldi: “To be honest, I think Arrows can deliver me a great car and I’m looking forward to seeing David Coulthard’s Mclaren in my mirrors.”

    67. “Okay Michael, please identify the man that assaulted you.”

      1. Superb :)

    68. Remember boys, one day you will all annoy Mclaren one way or the other!

      1. I like this one

    69. One of these things is not like the others.

      1. I find this great, most subtle one!

    70. “So here we have the new formula 1 four aside football team, Fernando with out a hat obviously because he is the goalkeeper.”

    71. Red Bull were sure they had sponsored two of the finest drivers in a generation. I suppose they were half right – Enrique Bernoldi did brilliantly to win a round of the 2010 GT1 World Championship, and at the same time Kimi was constantly crashing in the WRC. Pretty obvious that Enrique should be number 2 at Red Bull don’t you think…

    72. Bernoldi: See you in my mirrors, fellas!
      Alonso: Then you’ll have to park your car with its rear towards the podium of the 2005 Brazilian Grand Prix!

    73. Well at least Bernoldi wouldn’t go on to fall out with McLaren…

    74. What the drivers think:
      KR: “Wake me up when this is over. ZZZ”
      JPM: “Why do we have to do this? Its all pointless, just give me the WDC already!”
      FA: “I bet I could take a better picture than this cameraman. The cameraman doesn’t look that good, all I’d have to do is work harder than him and I’d take better photos. I’m sure he’s standing all wrong…”
      EB: “This is nice…”

    75. Kimi: So this is F1. Well this is boring can i go now.

    76. “Okay, first one to NASCAR wins, right? Juan, Juan . . .?”

    77. Alonso:- Ok, so out of the four of us, I’m the one in the slowest car this season, but come back to me at the end of 2006, and let’s see who’s achieved what.

    78. You know guys, in the future 3 of you will be considered great drivers…..

      Bernoldi: “Ha! I knew it!”

      1. Nice.

    79. Enrique Bernoldi, clearly not use to the glamour of Formula 1, had to hide his pleasure after seeing the grid girls walk by.

    80. Gentlemen, right now what are you aiming for?

      Kimi: Get out of here.
      JPM: Get to the McDonalds.
      Alonso: Get into the track.
      EB: Get to the toilet.

    81. Fernando: Ugh. It’s like having your photo taken by your mother on the first day of school.
      Kimi: My mother does not take photos.
      JPM: You guys went to school?

    82. Enrique was a bit embarrassed to be entered in ‘Crotch Bulge’ competition.

    83. Kimi wonders if he should dye his eyebrows darker

    84. Thinking….
      Raikkonen: Hummmm… Vodka…
      Montoya: Hummmm… Hamburger….
      Alonso: Hummmm…. Teammate…
      Bernoldi: Hummm… Future….

    85. Jack (@jackisthestig)
      14th January 2013, 21:31

      Reservoir Dogs 2 never quite lived up to the original

    86. Rob (@silverspooler)
      14th January 2013, 22:08

      Alonso: “Haha these suckers had to put on their hats but my hair looks way to damn good to be covered up”

    87. Raikkonen, Montoya, Frankie Howerd and Bernoldi.

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